What is partner birth?

In recent years, the presence of a partner at the birth of a child has become increasingly popular. It is believed that in the first hours of life, a child develops a close psychological connection with his parents, and it is good if he “gets to know” both mom and dad. After all, such happiness must be divided into three.

Partner births are those in which, in addition to medical personnel (midwives, doctors, nurses and neonatologists), a close person of the woman in labor is present.

The birth partner most often turns out to be the baby's father, but it can also be a friend, the mother of the woman in labor, or a psychologist from prenatal training courses. The decision about how and with whom to give birth must be made carefully, since the person supporting the woman during this important period has the opportunity not only to help physically, but also to have an emotional impact on her. Maintaining a state of calm and confidence, the partner conveys this state to the woman, helping her relax and overcome stress.

Preparing for joint birth

Preparation for a partner birth can be divided into several stages:

The solution is that each couple must act independently, not paying attention to fashion and the opinions of outsiders.
Psychological preparation – it is necessary to attend courses in preparation for childbirth.
The practical aspect is that in order to gain access to the maternity hospital, the husband needs to obtain a certificate from the clinic stating that he is healthy. To do this, you need to take a general blood and urine test, tests for HIV, RV, hepatitis, and undergo fluorography.

Approximate clothing for a partner is a clean T-shirt and cotton trousers, washable (rubber) slippers. If quarantine is declared in the maternity hospital, partner births will not take place.

We make a decision.

The main criterion for parents to make an important decision about how to give birth should be the subjective (not necessarily logically justified) preference or objective motives for both partners to give birth together.

Do all women need a birth partner? Definitely: no. Can all men (or should) accompany their wife to the hospital? Definitely: no.

When thinking about these questions, try to focus only on yourself, and not on the opinions of “informed” people, experienced friends, or materials from magazines and the Internet. Keep in mind that the common maxim “giving birth together strengthens relationships” is nothing more than a myth. You can hear the opinion that those spouses who are initially very close to each other give birth together, who long before childbirth become “pregnancy partners” and who can well be called a “pregnant couple”. For such expectant parents, having a joint birth may indeed be logical and natural. But even complete mutual understanding is not a guarantee that this couple will choose partnership in the maternity hospital!

In order to be confident in the correctness of the decision about joint childbirth, it is necessary that:

everyone - both men and women - wanted to get a unique experience of working together to give birth to a child;
the wife completely trusted her husband and counted on him;
the husband really wanted to help his wife and child and felt strong enough to do so.

Unfortunately, it happens that the decision to participate in the birth of a man is made “unilaterally”: either the future father, despite preparation and a sincere desire to help, is not psychologically ready to go to the maternity hospital with his wife, but tries to overcome himself and still goes for childbirth; or the woman simply gives in to her husband, out of fear of offending, while not at all wanting his presence nearby at this moment.

Let us remember: the most important thing for a woman in labor is psychological comfort and tranquility. If she herself or the husband nearby experiences tension and anxiety (which are difficult to consciously control, and more often simply impossible, and which will certainly manifest themselves in the tone of voice, the nature of movements and touches), then these feelings will only interfere with the successful course of childbirth.

We are so often hindered by the fear that something will be wrong, not like everyone else, anxiety due to a banal lack of information - ignorance, as well as false ideas. Many men who are not experienced in obstetrics imagine childbirth the way they are shown in feature films: a woman in labor stretched out on her back, screams, blood...

"And what will I do there?" - the man asks himself and, not finding an answer, firmly decides that he will never set foot in the maternity hospital. But by attending childbirth preparation courses together with the expectant mother, a man will understand exactly how he will help his wife. Having completed the educational program, he will already know that, for example, a woman in labor needs the most support during the first, longest period of labor.

The expectant mother, who wants to welcome the baby into this world with his father, must “show” the man that he is the closest and dearest person to her, that if he is nearby, it will be easier for her, that she needs his support. Consent of doctors and consistency with them.

How to help your partner avoid emotional turmoil?

Not everyone is ready for such a test as being present at a birth. This is especially true for men. When going together to give birth, some young couples simply do not imagine the reality of childbirth. And the lack of basic prenatal preparation for such an important step sometimes leads to sad consequences: the husband sees his wife’s suffering, but cannot help. This is a lot of stress for a man who feels responsible.

Childbirth is hard work for a woman. But, knowing about their specifics, about his role in them, a man, being next to his wife, can significantly facilitate the process of giving birth to a baby for her. The labor partner is required to provide specific assistance to relieve pain during contractions, such as massage of the lower back and abdomen, control of correct breathing, and much more, which requires serious prenatal preparation. Therefore, preparing a partner for childbirth should become the same integral part of the process as preparing the expectant mother. This can be done in childbirth preparation courses.

But each couple must determine the degree of participation of the husband in childbirth for themselves. Should the husband be in the delivery room during the pushing or should he come in after the baby is born? Whether to take a sister, friend or mother to the birth - everyone decides based on their individual situation.

Courses to prepare partners for joint childbirth will allow you to learn the main physiological and psychological changes in the process of childbirth, and also enable the partner to determine his role. Typically, the course program includes not only lectures, but also practical exercises, watching videos about the course of pregnancy and childbirth, and the intrauterine development of the baby.

So what role does your partner play during childbirth?

Maintain your own calm and confidence that everything is happening as it should be. Feeling your condition, the woman will be calm, since in joint childbirth the woman in labor gives control over the situation to her partner.
Hold your spouse's hand, wipe off the sweat if she asks, give her a drink of water.
Measure the periods between contractions and their duration in order to have an idea of what stage the labor process is at. To do this, it is important to have an idea of how childbirth occurs.
Help your spouse relax her muscles with pleasant stroking, reminding her of the need to relax in a quiet and calm voice;
Adjust to your spouse’s breathing in order to feel her condition better and help establish a breathing rhythm if the woman gets confused.
Between contractions and during them, give your spouse a pain-relieving massage, stroking the stomach and massaging the lumbar and sacrum areas.
Help change position and find a comfortable position with the help of pillows and a ball, or allow your spouse to hang on you.
Provide psychological support to a woman during childbirth, praise her. If something doesn’t work, ask you to concentrate on your breathing and try again.
Help her get to the toilet as soon as she asks, it is advisable to remind her about this every hour, even if she does not talk about such a need. As a rule, after visiting the toilet, pain decreases.

Partner birth options

If couples are confident in their abilities, they will be able to endure the entire process of childbirth together: from the onset of contractions until the birth of the child.

If your partner doubts whether he will stand it, you can use a partition screen . Then, while with you, your partner will be detached from how the head appears and what manipulations the doctors perform.

Another option is for the father to be present during the first stage of labor, when he helps to breathe properly and gives massage, but is not present during pushing and the actual birth of the child. The father is invited already in the finale to cut the umbilical cord or be next to his wife and child at the time of the first breastfeeding.

Some say that the most acceptable option for the male psyche and the woman in labor itself is when the father is allowed into the delivery room only at the moment the baby is put to the breast.

And remember: you shouldn’t blindly follow fashion - especially in such a serious issue as partner childbirth. Whatever decision you make when planning to give birth, it should be thoughtful and mutual. Only in this case is a good course of labor and a happy family life in the future possible.

Have an easy birth, mom and dad!

Prepared by: Assistant of the Department of Obstetrics and Gynecology Pavlyukova S.A. ,Head of the Maternity Department Kupchina A.N.