1ST CITY CLINICAL HOSPITAL

Childbirth with a partner - pros and cons

26.11.2024

The process of childbirth is still shrouded in myths and prejudices, surrounded by an aura of religion and tradition. It turns out that through such an angle as childbirth, one can also talk about the spirit of the times, famous historical figures and, of course, about our attitude to life, death and the entire universe, since the emergence of a new life is a key and fundamental phenomenon throughout the existence of mankind and will remain so until the end of the history of this world.

Social and religious traditions that existed around the act of childbirth are very rich and diverse both in historical and geographical aspects. We will consider the attitude to childbirth as a socio-psychological phenomenon in the light of the participation in the birth act, in addition to the mother herself, of another person, most often the father of the child, who must provide her with psychological and physical assistance. Of course, we are talking about partner childbirth.

It is generally accepted that the phenomenon of partner births began to spread in the 1950s in Western Europe and the United States, and this tradition came to us in the 1990s. But this is not true at all. There are historical legends about the birth of children in partner births since ancient times, but reliable documented sources about joint births appeared only in the 19th century. And here, just the same, the Russian Empire was ahead of Western European countries.

A stable tendency of births in intelligent families of Russia at the end of the 19th century was the presence of the husband directly in the delivery room, while in the conditions of pre-industrial Russia, according to memoirs and doctors' testimonies, the husband was in separate rooms, waiting for his wife's permission. If the husband was highly sensitive, he was placed in the next room so that he could hear, but not see, what was happening. This tendency of the husband's presence and participation in childbirth was not so much an echo of folk practices (couvade) as an element of the emergence of "conscious fatherhood". The absence of a husband during childbirth was considered abnormal and even offensive, first of all, for the woman in labor and was evidence of "her husband's dislike". And if in the West only women were in the woman in labor's circle, then in Russia, in the families of educated city dwellers and especially in the nobility, the presence of a husband directly in the delivery room was the norm. Modern specialists are convinced that just as for a woman this period (especially during her first pregnancy and first birth) is transitional, turning her into a mother, so for a man there must be a rebirth and harmonious emergence of a father during the joint experiences of pregnancy and childbirth.

While women's testimonies about their husbands' presence at childbirth are common, it was not so easy to find descriptions of men's emotional experiences. Such texts are a godsend for researchers. Childbirth was not a suitable subject for male interests. Their authors focused on representing external, rational, symbolic manifestations of life, ignoring deeply intimate irrational issues. Perhaps the most famous of these were the notes of Emperors Alexander III and Nicholas II (at the time of writing, they had the status of Tsareviches). The fact that the Emperor himself was present at his wife's childbirth, recording these events in his diaries, testified to the importance of these practices in the life of a husband and father.

An analysis of the history of childbirth in royal families in the 19th century showed that Tsarevich Alexander Alexandrovich (the future Emperor Alexander III) was the first to take an active part in this process. During Maria Feodorovna's first birth in 1868, he surrounded her with care. The Tsarevich wrote in a note to his mother:

"My dear darling, Ma! This morning, at about 4 o'clock, Mini felt pain again, but more severely than yesterday, and hardly slept at all. Now the pain continues, and Mlle. Mikhailova came, who says that this is already the decisive beginning of labor. Mini suffers quite a bit at times, but now she dresses, and I even let her walk around the room."

When reading these intimate papers, a modern reader is struck by the breadth of participation in a purely private, not even family, but female matter of relatives on the male line. Not only her mother-in-law, but also her father-in-law (Emperor Alexander II) helped Mini psychologically to give birth: "Mama and Papa arrived at about 10 o'clock... Mini was already beginning to suffer quite a lot and even screamed at times. About 12 ½ my wife went into the bedroom to the couch, where everything was prepared. The pains were getting stronger and stronger, and Mini suffered greatly. Papa returned and helped me hold my darling the whole time. Finally, at 3 ½ the last minute came, and all the suffering ceased at once. God sent us a son, whom we named Nikolai..."

It is not surprising that so many sympathizers participated in such a state matter as the birth of an heir. The historian I. Zimin, who studied the daily life of the imperial court, believed that the tradition of the presence of numerous relatives at the birth of empresses (in the next room) dates back to the Middle Ages. They had to verify the "truth" of the birth and the heir.

Empathy and acceptance are evidence of the special significance of the birth act in the perception of an educated and exemplary family man. “What joy it was - it is impossible to imagine. I rushed to embrace my darling wife, who immediately cheered up and was terribly happy. I cried like a child, and my soul was so light and pleasant,” the heir to the throne wrote. The minutes he experienced had a huge impact on the future emperor, who was known as a loving, caring father and husband. Similar anthropological experiences are presented in the notes of Nicholas II, who was also present next to his wife during the birth. This is how he described the first birth of Empress Alexandra in his diary:

“An eternally memorable day for me, during which I suffered a lot! Even in the night, dear Alix began to have pains that did not allow her to sleep. All day she lay in bed in severe agony - poor thing! I could not look at her indifferently. At about 2 o'clock dear Mama arrived from Gatchina; the three of us, her and Ella stayed with Alix constantly. At exactly 9 o'clock we heard a baby's squeal, and we all breathed a sigh of relief... When all the excitement passed and the horrors were over, a simply blissful state began with the realization of what had happened! "

Women's diaries and memoirs are replete with references to the active support of their wives by their husbands during the birth process. It was the husbands who were responsible for calling the medical personnel in the conditions of home births:

"Volodya was born easily. It was in the evening, at about 9-10 o'clock. I went to get a midwife from some maternity hospital, far away. When I arrived with her, Anyuta had already given birth, and her friend Kolomiytseva, with whom she attended obstetric lectures, delivered him."

During the period of prolonged contractions and labor of his wife, F. M. Dostoevsky was always nearby, which greatly surprised the foreign midwife (the birth took place abroad). Anna Grigoryevna Dostoevskaya wrote about this: “The midwife told me that in all her many years of practice she had never seen the father of a newborn in such a state of excitement and distress as my husband was all the time.” European husbands behaved more restrainedly, they were not allowed into the rooms of women in labor, they did not hear their screams and groans. S. A. Tolstaya also noted her husband’s presence at her first birth:

“Levochka was with me the whole time, I saw that he felt very sorry for me, he was so affectionate, tears sparkled in his eyes, he wiped my forehead with a handkerchief and cologne, I was all in sweat from the heat and suffering, and my hair was sticking to my temples; he kissed me and my hands, from which I did not let go of his hands, sometimes breaking them from unbearable suffering, sometimes kissing them to prove to him my tenderness and the absence of any reproaches for this suffering”

Undoubtedly, the feelings he experienced were reflected in his concept of motherhood and ideas about the role of women in society. It is known that L. N. Tolstoy was one of the popularizers of "conscious motherhood", believing that the main biological and social calling of every woman is to be a mother-educator. In addition, being present at childbirth significantly expanded the physical experience of Lev Nikolaevich, who was able to depict Kitty's childbirth so vividly and so contradictorily in the novel "Anna Karenina".

In modern obstetrics, partner childbirth is a very common phenomenon, which now surprises no one. Most often, the presence of a loved one at childbirth alleviates the pain of the woman in labor, and also reduces her psycho-emotional stress. However, in some cases, the presence of a partner may not have a positive effect on the birth act and negatively affect further life together. Let's consider the positive and possible negative aspects of partnership in childbirth.

Advantages of partner childbirth.

Many psychologists, doctors, as well as mothers and fathers who have had the experience of partner births, assure that there are many advantages to this: By helping his wife prepare for childbirth and being present at the birth of the child, the husband feels like his father from the very first moment of the baby's birth. This is especially important when the first child is about to be born. The husband's presence during the birth of the child is a shared experience that can bring the spouses even closer together, both in terms of their entire future life together and when caring for the child. It has been proven that when a beloved man is nearby, a woman tolerates pain much easier. In addition, in this case, she has a much lower chance of developing postpartum stress and depression. The presence of the father nearby at the moment when the child has just been born helps the baby himself. The first 30-40 minutes after birth, the baby does not sleep. He gets to know and remembers the objects that he sees next to him (this feature of a newborn is called imprinting). Having memorized such objects, the baby subsequently establishes a long-term psychological and physical connection with them. For obvious reasons, the first and main object of imprinting is usually the mother. But if the father is next to the mother at this time, the child thus establishes a connection with him as well. Imprinting is also remarkable in that it helps to maintain such a connection throughout life. It is for this reason that every child subconsciously reaches out to the mother more than to the father. But this is because the mother became the very first imprinted object. If the baby imprinted two objects (mom and dad) in the first minutes of his life, then in the future he will treat both parents equally. Being next to his wife and newborn baby, a man can take on the hassle of drawing up the necessary documents.

Disadvantages of joint childbirth

Some of them are quite surmountable and eliminateable, others can cause very serious consequences, primarily in psychological terms. Therefore, it is necessary to state: before deciding on a joint birth, you should think everything over and weigh it taking into account the psychological characteristics of both spouses.

Some women are sure that if the beloved man wants to be nearby when she gives birth, then, consequently, he will not leave her until the very end - that is, until the moment the child is born. According to many doctors, this is a very common female mistake. Not every man is able to endure such a sight without fear. Statistics show that approximately every fifth man present at childbirth receives psychological trauma, and its consequences can be felt for many years. In this case, the husband usually understands that, in fact, he cannot help his wife in any way, and begins to consider his presence nearby in the delivery room a mistake.

There are often cases when especially impressionable husbands lose consciousness during the birth of their wife. This causes justifiable discontent among doctors, who, instead of helping the woman in labor, have to bring her husband to his senses. In addition, the fear and confusion of the partner during labor are transmitted to the woman, which can negatively affect the course of labor. If a man knows that he is impressionable, it would be better if he refuses to participate in the joint birth. The wife should not insist on this.

If an overly impressionable future father still wants to be next to his wife, then let it be a lighter version of his presence. For example, he should leave the room at the time of the birth itself, and return when the baby and placenta have already been born, the birth canal has been examined.

Some future mothers, inviting their husbands to take part in the birth, at the most inopportune moment begin to think that they are disheveled and without makeup, and therefore ugly, because of which the husband will stop loving them. Due to worries about this, the process of labor for a woman can be delayed and cause her additional suffering. In such cases, it is better for the husband to show understanding and leave the delivery room.

There are cases when problems in relationships arise in a family precisely because of partner birth. Here, again, it is all about psychology - in this case, mainly in the man. Having seen with his own eyes what the birth of a child is really like, a man is so imbued with what he saw and experienced that he cannot forget it later, as a result of which his attitude towards his wife becomes more distant. Specialized literature describes cases when husbands who participated in joint births cool towards their wives both psychologically and physically, which is the cause of divorce. As for women, by their nature they forget all the features and nuances of childbirth much faster. Therefore, they usually do not have any complexes towards the fathers of their children in connection with the birth of a child. Accordingly, the birth of a baby is usually not a reason for divorce for a woman. There are such husbands whose nervous system and impressionability are in order. One of the latest fashion trends is the presence of a steadfast dad during childbirth with a video camera, on which he tries to film the entire process of the birth of the heir from beginning to end. If the man got into the delivery room legally, then no one has the right to forbid him from filming. Although - such filming usually irritates both doctors and the woman in labor herself. Doctors - because the dad interferes with their work, the wife - because video filming often makes her dislike her husband: instead of supporting with a kind word, her beloved man runs around with a camera.

Summarizing the positive and negative aspects of partner childbirth, we can recommend such childbirth in the following cases:

1. The husband himself suggests it and assures that he can withstand
2. The wife wants her husband to participate in the birth.
3. The husband supported his wife throughout the pregnancy, they went to visits to the doctor together, he knows how and with what features the pregnancy proceeded. The beloved man is mentally prepared to participate in partner childbirth and knows what to do if an unexpected or dangerous situation occurs.

Partner childbirth is not recommended if:

1. The man is too impressionable;
2. If the husband wants to be present at the birth solely for the sake of his own curiosity or cannot clearly explain his desire at all. A curious spectator (even if it is the husband of the woman in labor) will irritate the doctors and interfere with them and make the woman nervous, which can complicate the birth.
3. Do not forcibly drag your husband to the maternity hospital if it is obvious that he himself does not want it. In this case, if the woman needs the support of a loved one in childbirth, you can offer to participate as a partner to her sister, mother or friend.

Obstetrician-gynecologist (head) of the maternity ward Malafeev I. A.